This week In Young, Hungry and Committed, after being called a ‘bitch’ by opposing counsel, Manhattan virtual office lawyer, Vivian Sobers explains why effective lawyers are just that.
Recently, one of my clients was deposed by opposing counsel. I thought the deposition went exceptionally well. But as I walked my client to the elevator, I happened to overhear part of the opposing counsel’s cellphone call. In a hushed tone, he stated: “She was such a bitch. She kept making objections.”
Was I really “such a bitch?”
Opposing counsel was presumably a junior attorney at the large law firm representing the adverse party’s interests. Frankly, he looked younger than me, and as you may know, I look young. In other circumstances we probably would have met at a networking event and exchanged business cards. I still think we can.
Not today though. Today, I was a bitch.
I still cannot understand what I did that provoked the word bitch?
Was it bitchy to zealously advocate on behalf of my client’s interests?
Was it bitchy of me to spend 8 hours preparing my client for a 4 hour deposition?
Was it bitchy of me to know the CPLR inside and out so I could make objections?
I guess it was bitchy of me to take the case in the first place and reject the first three settlement offers because they were grossly inadequate.
I know it was bitchy of me to arrive at the deposition early and fully prepared.
I am positive that it was bitchy of me to out-perform and out-maneuver another attorney.
In my experience, being called a bitch is a reflection of the name-callers own inadequacies. I just thought lawyers were better than that. For the most part, we are better than that.
We all toiled through law school for three years. All of us sat for at least one Bar Examination and passed. This is no small feat.
I guess I had a different vision of practicing law than being called a bitch.
I truly thought the legal community was, well, a community.
When I opened my own law firm directly after law school, I assumed all attorneys were part of a secret club. I dreamed of tenaciously arguing with a pit bull-like attorney and swapping war stories over a scotch at the conclusion of the case. I assumed the business of law was, well, business.
If I am out-argued by opposing counsel, I respect them that much more. I don’t hold it against them and call them names.
This utopian view is not far off from my reality. Most of my adversaries are talented, intensely smart and affable individuals. I give them the credit they deserve.
Beyond the credit, I give them the referrals they deserve. Who better to represent one of my marquis clients in a matter than an attorney who has already proven their knowledge and persuasive abilities at my own expense? Being a bitch ensures other lawyers continued referral income, at least from me.
It just seems so childish to immediately try to cut another attorney down in a derogatory fashion after they have just out-performed you. I think we, as a profession, are better than that.
I think all lawyers should aspire to be bitches. If being a bitch is doing your job to the best of your ability, then I am the biggest bitch in New York City. I am flattered my opposing counsel came to same realization.
My name is Vivian Sobers. I am young, hungry and a bitch. Despite the challenges that lie ahead, I am committed to making this practice a success.
Vivian Sobers is a commercial litigator pursuing a solo law practice right out of law school. She is a client in Law Firm Suites’ Virtual Office Program. Vivian’s weekly blog series “Young, Hungry and Committed” documents the trials and tribulations of a young attorney navigating her way through the challenging world of self-employed legal practice.
